Asshole Mario Stage 1

Just watching this made me want to kill myself. I could never in a million years play it.

Dream Land Part 2

WHOO! I remembered another part of my dreams!

I found a bat in one of the buildings on campus and decided it would be a good idea to let him sleep in tin foil. Then, I was late to visit my RA (and apparently his dog) and went to his room. He had a lot of people there and I brought Ossian, our future cat, and the bat wrapped in tin foil. I had hoped my RA's dog wouldn't notice Ossian even though she was meowing up a storm. It took a while but he did eventually notice her and the where fighting. I tried to intervene but Ossian scratched me along the cheek, mouth, and eye. then she started bleeding, I started bleeding and the dog started bleeding. The bat was still sleeping. Then the dog and cat made up and the cat put its arm around the dog's soulder... you heard me. Meanwhile I went to the bathroom to clean up and as I was washing the wounds with water, the disappeared but I put a band-aid on anyway.

Dream Land

I've heard that you are always dreaming but sometimes you don't remember them. I also know it has a lot to do with your REM cycle. Either way, I feel like I haven't had a dream in the longest time. It really sucks because every so often I try to learn how to lucid dream, but the first step is to make sure you remember your dreams and to do that you need to keep a dream journal. I've tried but its kind of hard when I can barely even remember my dreams when I wake up.

That said, last night I had some pretty awesome and vivid dreams! I actually remembered almost all the details when I woke up, but I wish I had thought to chronicle them earlier because now I barely remember them; I'll at least describe them.

One dream had flying in the middle. Flying has become an important part of my dreams (at least the ones I remember) recently. Anyway, I grew wings on my back and it took a while for me to learn how to use them. It was very much like using a new muscle. I was luckily in a house that was full of trees with springy branches and was able to jump from one to another gaining momentum and eventually crashing down. Finally I got the hang of it and was using less and less branches until I was able to fly without the help of them. I think the best part of the dream, wasn't even the dream. When I woke up, I had this really weird feeling next to my shoulder blades. It wasn't pain, on the contrary, it was very pleasant. In fact, I can still feel it.

Flying never meant anything to me. I always wanted to be able to walk through solid objects or teleport or something, but recently, I think flying would be the best feeling in the world... No. I don't think. I know. The dream was so vivid and that feeling next to my shoulder blades. I know what flying feels like. And the weird part is that feeling how I do when I am flying in the dream world is just about enough for me. I don't care so much that I can't do it in the real world.

...Shit... I forgot my other dreams.

Finals

Has anyone else noticed that the week or two before finals are worse than the actual finals? I felt so overwhelmed last week and over the weekend, however, when I finally started working on them, I realized I don't have as much work to do as previously thought. Chalk it up to disorganization, but this year finals are going to be better than they actually seemed.

WHOO! End of the semester.

My Songs

Every night before I go to bed, I think about where I have been, where I am going, and reflect upon myself. Then after all of that, I wash the slate clean and go to bed fully ready for the next day.

I just had to get that out there. There is a reason for this post and I hope it becomes clear by the end.

I titled this post "My Songs" for a reason. These songs have an infinite amount of meaning. So much so that they belong to me.

After tonight, I need a lot of reflection. As soon as things tapered off, the first thing I ran to were my songs for comfort; to get balance in my life, to remind myself of who I am.

------------------------------------------

Call Me, Call Me by Steve Conteh
I close my eyes and I keep seeing things;
Rainbow waterfalls, sunny liquid dreams.
Confusion creeps inside me raining doubt;
Got to get to you, but i don't know how

Call me call me,
Let me know its alright.
Call me call me,
Don't you think its bout time,

Please wont you call and:
Ease my mind.
Reasons, for me to know you,
Ease my mind.
What would i do, but wait here for you?

I had your number quite some time ago,
Back when we were young but I had to go.
Ten-thousand years I've searched it seems and now:
Got to get to you, but i don't know how.

Call me call me,
Let me know you are there.
Call me call me,
I want to know you still care.

Come on now wont you ease my mind?
Reasons for me to know you.
Piece of mind.
What can i do: To get me to you?

Gotta Knock a Little Harder by Yoko Kanno
Happiness is just a word to me
And it might have meant a thing or two
If I'd known the difference

Emptiness, a lonely parody
And my life, another smokin' gun
A sign of my indifference

Always keepin' safe inside
Where no one ever had a chance
To penetrate a break in

Let me tell you some have tried
But I would slam the door so tight
That they could never get in

Kept my cool under lock and key
And I never shed a tear
Another sign of my condidtion

Fear of love or bitter vanity
That kept me on the run
The main events at my confession

I kept a chain upon my door
That would shake the shame of Cain
Into a blind submission

The burning ghost without a name
Was calling all the same
But I wouldn't listen

The longer I'd stall
The further I'd crawl
The further I'd crawl
The harder I'd fall
I was crawlin' into the fire

The more that I saw
The further I'd fall
The further I'd fall
The lower I'd crawl
I kept fallin' into the fire
Into the fire
Into the fire

Suddenly it occurred to me
The reason for the run and hide
Had totaled my existnce

Everything left on the other side
Could never be much worse that this
But could I go the distance

I faced the door and all my shame
Tearin' off each piece of chain
Until they all were broken

But no matter how I tried
The other side was licked so tight
That door it wouldn't open

Gave it all that I got
And started to knock
Shouted for someone
To open the lock
I just gotta get through the door

And the more that I knocked
The hotter I got
The hotter I got
The harder I'd knock
I just gotta break through the door

Gotta knock a little harder
Break down the door.

Learn to Fly by the Foo Fighters
Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me
Get things right.

Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing
And watch the last one die.

I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something help me burn out bright

I'm looking for complications
Looking cause I'm tired of lying
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly

Think I'm done nursing the patience
I can wait one night
I'd give it all away
If you give me one last try

We live happily ever trapped
If you just save my life
Run and tell the angels
That everything is all right

I'm looking for complications
Looking cause I'm tired of tryin'
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly.

Fly along with me
I cant quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own

I'm looking for complications
Looking cause I'm tired of tryin'
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly high.

------------------------------------------

I think few people know who I truly am. In fact, I am fairly confident that I can count on one hand the people who truly understand ...you know who you are...

Where have I been? Where am I going? What am I doing? What do I want out of life? I don't pretend to be complicated, there is just a lot to me. In the end though, you might find out that I am not so hard to figure out after all. Maybe you'll understand me through these songs and post. Maybe I'll tell you sometime.

Please don't take umbridge with me for this post. I hope it's not too pretentious. Maybe its my fault I am not as open with people as I should be and maybe its because people aren't interested in me. If you feel strongly about it, just talk to me sometime. I love you anyway.

See you Space Cowboy.

Blech 2: The Revelation

I talked to my roommates and apparently it wasn't pubes. It was beard trimmings.

I'm still going to wear sandals from now on.

Blech

This morning, I stepped on pubic hair that was strewn about in front of the shower. I didn't have sandals...

This morning I learned a new lesson.