http://movies.ign.com/articles/957/957888p1.html
Apparently they are going to also come out with a new hand drawn movie every 2.5 years!!!!!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Trophy from a reconstructed life
There is a reason I haven't posted in a while. I sort of went through an identity crisis about a month ago. I was at a point in my life where I didn't know if I was a good person or bad person or if I was just cut from a generic mold. Its something that I've always kept inside and really effected me.
Recently, I have really broken from that unyielding mindset and I would love to diagram the events for everyone to hear. That means you Brian!
Background Info 1
So anyone who knows me (ie. all of you) knows how well I can keep my composure. I don't know if anyone has seen me ever get truly mad, especially since I can count only a few times when I've actually been mad. (This of course doesn't include the times I have gotten angry due to the stupidity of people.) Anyway, I chalk it up to the fact that I am not phased by much and I don't really sweat the small stuff.
This however has lead me to believe that I am apathetic towards almost everything. For a long time, I believed that I didn't care about anything least of all myself.
Background Info 2
More often than not I place other people before myself and I rarely ever give myself a break for other people. For this reason, I don't get walked over by people. I get trampled on by people. And the worst part of all is that if I fail while getting trampled on, I apologize. Granted I may have nothing to apologize for, but I still inevatibly apologize.
Now here is the story.
Over the past weekend, the theatre school held auditions for two short shows, called No Bucks. The production schedule of each show is 2 weeks and as soon as one ends, the other begins.
The second show, the show I am directing, is a comedy called Ollie's Inferno. It is hilarious and totally suits my personality. I was really lucky to get such a good directing gig because I didn't know anything about the show when I voluenteered. My thoughts were, if the show is good, I will have a great time, but if the show sucks, I will learn how to deal. It was going to be a sink or swim show.
Now, the first show, The Death of Bessie Smith is a show regarding racism in the deep south during the 1930s. it has 2 black (male) characters and 4 white (2 male and 2 female) characters.
So, last weekend, as I said, was an audition weekend. We sat there as wave after wave of girls came into the audition. Honestly, no guys came in to audition (let alone any black guys). But the auditions went along anyway.
However, The Death of Bessie Smith started work yesterday so there was no time to hold anymore auditions and to make matters worse, there is already a mainstage show, involving raceism in the 1850s, that apparently took all of the black male actors in the Theatre School.
So, the director of the show calls me, desperately asking for my help. I said sure; not really putting too much thought into it. So yesterday we had a readthrough where I realized that I will be playing the part of a black person. I left the read through, mind reeling and halfway back to my dorm, I turned around. THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL that I was going to play a black person in a show about racism. It was about the most distasteful thing I have ever heard in my life. I was getting sick just thinking about it.
So I talked to my director and she said, well the part I was to play would show that the oppressed person (me) was able to be the better man and that she had faith that I could bring dignity to the role.
Fine. I said I would think about it, but the more I thought about it, the more disgusted I got with the situation. I was about to trivialize hundred of years of black oppression in 2 weeks. Not happening. So I called up some friends to ask their oppinions and they aggreed with me. I called up one of the black acting teachers (who is actually on Sabbatical) and she aggreed with me. Then I called back the director of the show and she didn't understand. You would bring dignity to the part, she kept saying.
Anyway, me being the sucker I am, I said I would continue to think about it. Finally, I woke up this morning, very tired. I honestly had trouble sleeping over the whole thing. I called her up and told her no. I refused to be in her show. It was morally against what I believed and I would never respect myself or her if I did it. She breaks down in tears saying that her show is falling apart and she didn't understand why I promised to help her out and then broke the promise. However, the most shocking and ignorant thing I have ever heard was what she said next. She said that if she was ever asked to play a black person, she would do it and she thinks I am being unreasonable.
I lost it here. I actually yelled at her for about 5 minutes even while she was crying. This is something I never believed I would ever. In my life. Do. Finally, she asked the question, "Would it be alright to change it to a jewish person." Reluctantly, I said yes, knowing that she was in desperation and that I wouldn't hate myself if I took the role after the change.
Anyway, I hung up and ...well... here are some pictures of what happened after:
The Wall I punched. Looks pretty sharp and pointy? Yep... Sounds about right.
My bloody finger wrapped in a bloody bandage.
This is a bad picture, but I ripped off all the skin on my joint after 3 punches. You should have seen my finger directly after I punched the wall.
The bloody bandage. Gross!
Anyway, so what does this have to do with my identity crisis? Well, after I hung up and punched the wall, I realized that I wasn't angry. Actually I was very happy. Then I was sitting through my Shakespeare class and realized why. I have a very strong identity. I know who I am and what I want in life. I know when I should get angry and when i should just look the other way. I know how I want to view myself.
I know exactly what I like about myself, and what I don't like about myself, but I understand that there is a necessary balance between the two and more importantly I accept it.
I look back at my identity crisis and realize, there was no need for it, and yet I am eternally grateful that I had it. It made me want to prove to myself, all the more, that I am in fact a strong person.
My identity crisis was a manifestation of my own lack of trust and confidence in myself. I'm going to trust myself from now on.
PS. I also was so happy to be angry! It is a side of me that I have never really seen before and it was nice to experience it ... although as soon as I got angry, I lost it because I was happy that I was angry.
Recently, I have really broken from that unyielding mindset and I would love to diagram the events for everyone to hear. That means you Brian!
Background Info 1
So anyone who knows me (ie. all of you) knows how well I can keep my composure. I don't know if anyone has seen me ever get truly mad, especially since I can count only a few times when I've actually been mad. (This of course doesn't include the times I have gotten angry due to the stupidity of people.) Anyway, I chalk it up to the fact that I am not phased by much and I don't really sweat the small stuff.
This however has lead me to believe that I am apathetic towards almost everything. For a long time, I believed that I didn't care about anything least of all myself.
Background Info 2
More often than not I place other people before myself and I rarely ever give myself a break for other people. For this reason, I don't get walked over by people. I get trampled on by people. And the worst part of all is that if I fail while getting trampled on, I apologize. Granted I may have nothing to apologize for, but I still inevatibly apologize.
Now here is the story.
Over the past weekend, the theatre school held auditions for two short shows, called No Bucks. The production schedule of each show is 2 weeks and as soon as one ends, the other begins.
The second show, the show I am directing, is a comedy called Ollie's Inferno. It is hilarious and totally suits my personality. I was really lucky to get such a good directing gig because I didn't know anything about the show when I voluenteered. My thoughts were, if the show is good, I will have a great time, but if the show sucks, I will learn how to deal. It was going to be a sink or swim show.
Now, the first show, The Death of Bessie Smith is a show regarding racism in the deep south during the 1930s. it has 2 black (male) characters and 4 white (2 male and 2 female) characters.
So, last weekend, as I said, was an audition weekend. We sat there as wave after wave of girls came into the audition. Honestly, no guys came in to audition (let alone any black guys). But the auditions went along anyway.
However, The Death of Bessie Smith started work yesterday so there was no time to hold anymore auditions and to make matters worse, there is already a mainstage show, involving raceism in the 1850s, that apparently took all of the black male actors in the Theatre School.
So, the director of the show calls me, desperately asking for my help. I said sure; not really putting too much thought into it. So yesterday we had a readthrough where I realized that I will be playing the part of a black person. I left the read through, mind reeling and halfway back to my dorm, I turned around. THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL that I was going to play a black person in a show about racism. It was about the most distasteful thing I have ever heard in my life. I was getting sick just thinking about it.
So I talked to my director and she said, well the part I was to play would show that the oppressed person (me) was able to be the better man and that she had faith that I could bring dignity to the role.
Fine. I said I would think about it, but the more I thought about it, the more disgusted I got with the situation. I was about to trivialize hundred of years of black oppression in 2 weeks. Not happening. So I called up some friends to ask their oppinions and they aggreed with me. I called up one of the black acting teachers (who is actually on Sabbatical) and she aggreed with me. Then I called back the director of the show and she didn't understand. You would bring dignity to the part, she kept saying.
Anyway, me being the sucker I am, I said I would continue to think about it. Finally, I woke up this morning, very tired. I honestly had trouble sleeping over the whole thing. I called her up and told her no. I refused to be in her show. It was morally against what I believed and I would never respect myself or her if I did it. She breaks down in tears saying that her show is falling apart and she didn't understand why I promised to help her out and then broke the promise. However, the most shocking and ignorant thing I have ever heard was what she said next. She said that if she was ever asked to play a black person, she would do it and she thinks I am being unreasonable.
I lost it here. I actually yelled at her for about 5 minutes even while she was crying. This is something I never believed I would ever. In my life. Do. Finally, she asked the question, "Would it be alright to change it to a jewish person." Reluctantly, I said yes, knowing that she was in desperation and that I wouldn't hate myself if I took the role after the change.
Anyway, I hung up and ...well... here are some pictures of what happened after:
The Wall I punched. Looks pretty sharp and pointy? Yep... Sounds about right.
My bloody finger wrapped in a bloody bandage.
This is a bad picture, but I ripped off all the skin on my joint after 3 punches. You should have seen my finger directly after I punched the wall.
The bloody bandage. Gross!
Anyway, so what does this have to do with my identity crisis? Well, after I hung up and punched the wall, I realized that I wasn't angry. Actually I was very happy. Then I was sitting through my Shakespeare class and realized why. I have a very strong identity. I know who I am and what I want in life. I know when I should get angry and when i should just look the other way. I know how I want to view myself.
I know exactly what I like about myself, and what I don't like about myself, but I understand that there is a necessary balance between the two and more importantly I accept it.
I look back at my identity crisis and realize, there was no need for it, and yet I am eternally grateful that I had it. It made me want to prove to myself, all the more, that I am in fact a strong person.
My identity crisis was a manifestation of my own lack of trust and confidence in myself. I'm going to trust myself from now on.
PS. I also was so happy to be angry! It is a side of me that I have never really seen before and it was nice to experience it ... although as soon as I got angry, I lost it because I was happy that I was angry.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Rash City; Population: Me
Here is a true story turned haiku:
I have an itchy rash.
It keeps me from sleeping tonight.
I'm turnin' zombie.
I have an itchy rash.
It keeps me from sleeping tonight.
I'm turnin' zombie.
Monday, January 26, 2009
A step in the wrong direction
Whoops...
This one might actually be mirroring the last one.
Ever since school started, I feel like I've been getting further and further from how school should be going. I have only been to a total of four classes on time, no joke... I have had twelve so far. I think my favorite late story was when I was searching for Class Voice last tuesday. I wrote the room number on my hand so I wouldn't forget where it was. I ran to dinner, ate, and ran to the Whalen. When I got there, I had just enough time to get to class, but I couldn't read the class number. Fuck. I ran all over the fourth floor (I at least knew it was there) but I couldn't find the room. I had to go to the library to figure out the room number. Finally, I reached my destination, opened the door, and walked into the room (once again ten minutes late) only to find myself on the stage of Ford Hall in front of my class. There was no sneakiness to be had at this point. I think the only way I could have made myself more obvious, was to tap dance across the stage. So I did. Actually, I really rushed off the stage, only getting myself noticed by the teacher who nicely asked my name.
Recently, as some may be aware, I promised that since I couldn't curb my swearing, I would become more krass. Bad life decision. I got called out in front of my sight singing class after a resounding SHIT! when I forgot that I was supposed to be singing in minor.
Besides that, I am sitting here at 6 in the morning, writing iambic pentameter for a class I have at two. I also, still have to read the rest of Shakespeare's pornagraphic story and figure out my sightsinging homework before 8 am since I have class from 8am to 3pm with only an hour break at 1.
I need to get better at this work thing.
This one might actually be mirroring the last one.
Ever since school started, I feel like I've been getting further and further from how school should be going. I have only been to a total of four classes on time, no joke... I have had twelve so far. I think my favorite late story was when I was searching for Class Voice last tuesday. I wrote the room number on my hand so I wouldn't forget where it was. I ran to dinner, ate, and ran to the Whalen. When I got there, I had just enough time to get to class, but I couldn't read the class number. Fuck. I ran all over the fourth floor (I at least knew it was there) but I couldn't find the room. I had to go to the library to figure out the room number. Finally, I reached my destination, opened the door, and walked into the room (once again ten minutes late) only to find myself on the stage of Ford Hall in front of my class. There was no sneakiness to be had at this point. I think the only way I could have made myself more obvious, was to tap dance across the stage. So I did. Actually, I really rushed off the stage, only getting myself noticed by the teacher who nicely asked my name.
Recently, as some may be aware, I promised that since I couldn't curb my swearing, I would become more krass. Bad life decision. I got called out in front of my sight singing class after a resounding SHIT! when I forgot that I was supposed to be singing in minor.
Besides that, I am sitting here at 6 in the morning, writing iambic pentameter for a class I have at two. I also, still have to read the rest of Shakespeare's pornagraphic story and figure out my sightsinging homework before 8 am since I have class from 8am to 3pm with only an hour break at 1.
I need to get better at this work thing.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A good start
Well, we are well into the first day of school and I have yet to do anything productive. I have only one class on Tuesdays (well 2 on Tuesday) and Thursdays as of now and it was canceled today. Thus I haven't left my room except to get food for lunch. I do have Rep class at 5:10 though so there is that. I streamed the inauguration and then tried to finish Okami, but played for 2 hours and got bored. I really need to finish my directing book for my play and memorize a monologue for my audition on Thursday. Whoops.
Anyway, every now and then, I have a lingering thought. Am I learning anything from Ithaca? Is there any reason for me to be $20 thousand+ in debt plus paying $46 thousand a semester? To be honest, I look at the classes for my major in the theatre department and just sigh. I sometimes believe I could be learning more somewhere else.
However, every so often I am thrown a curve ball that reminds me I am not just paying for the classes, but the experiences and opportunities.
About two months ago, I submitted an abstract on the utilization of a psychology theory in theatre to a convention all the way in Wisconsin. Two days ago, I recieved the response:
Dear Martine Baruch, et al:
Thank you for your abstract submission, Priming the Audience. Your abstract clearly illustrated your hard work in this field of study. The large volume of abstracts we received made the selection process highly competitive. The members of the Abstract Review Committee regret to inform you that your abstract was not accepted for presentation at NCUR 2009.
All abstracts were reviewed by a panel of faculty experts and the panel members indicated the quality of workmanship was outstanding. We applaud your research efforts and wish you future success.
Sincerely,
The NCUR 2009 Abstract Review Committee
www.uwlax.edu/ncur2009
I have never been so happy to recieve a rejection letter! Also, I have learned several things about myself and my life decisions:
I feel this applys to my life. I am in a constant state of indifference and laziness. But the response I have gotten from my abstract has made me realize that I might not be as indifferent and lazy as I thought I was. This abstract has made me reflect on the past; I have applied myself many times in the past and recieved extraordinary results. I now realize that I am not so apathaetic. I just don't sweat the small stuff. I see whats worth fighting for and whats important and then go to it. At times, it seems like I have done nothing at all, but then I realize that I have had many accomplishments. The only thing I wish I would do is avoid procrastination, but I don't see it as a big problem. Besides, you know what they say, "Heroes always come late."
Here's to the future.
Later.
Anyway, every now and then, I have a lingering thought. Am I learning anything from Ithaca? Is there any reason for me to be $20 thousand+ in debt plus paying $46 thousand a semester? To be honest, I look at the classes for my major in the theatre department and just sigh. I sometimes believe I could be learning more somewhere else.
However, every so often I am thrown a curve ball that reminds me I am not just paying for the classes, but the experiences and opportunities.
About two months ago, I submitted an abstract on the utilization of a psychology theory in theatre to a convention all the way in Wisconsin. Two days ago, I recieved the response:
Dear Martine Baruch, et al:
Thank you for your abstract submission, Priming the Audience. Your abstract clearly illustrated your hard work in this field of study. The large volume of abstracts we received made the selection process highly competitive. The members of the Abstract Review Committee regret to inform you that your abstract was not accepted for presentation at NCUR 2009.
All abstracts were reviewed by a panel of faculty experts and the panel members indicated the quality of workmanship was outstanding. We applaud your research efforts and wish you future success.
Sincerely,
The NCUR 2009 Abstract Review Committee
www.uwlax.edu/ncur2009
I have never been so happy to recieve a rejection letter! Also, I have learned several things about myself and my life decisions:
- First, I feel like being a total dork and quoting the Futurama episode when Bender meets God.
I feel this applys to my life. I am in a constant state of indifference and laziness. But the response I have gotten from my abstract has made me realize that I might not be as indifferent and lazy as I thought I was. This abstract has made me reflect on the past; I have applied myself many times in the past and recieved extraordinary results. I now realize that I am not so apathaetic. I just don't sweat the small stuff. I see whats worth fighting for and whats important and then go to it. At times, it seems like I have done nothing at all, but then I realize that I have had many accomplishments. The only thing I wish I would do is avoid procrastination, but I don't see it as a big problem. Besides, you know what they say, "Heroes always come late."
- I am in the right major. I fully enjoyed writing the abstract.
- I know exactly what could've gotten me a spot in the convention but I was too afraid to take that risk when I wrote the abstract. I cannot hesitate again. If I know what I want and know how to get it, I need to go for it and pull out all the stops.
- I don't really care so much about grades. I never have. Maybe its because I never studied hard, or maybe its because no matter how hard I would study, I am not able to get that perfect GPA. I have come to realize that in a Liberal degree, grades matter on one end of the spectrum, but probably equally important (if not more) is how a person applies what he learns. I have proven that even though I get mediocre grades, I can still excel! By the way, I'm not one of those people who says they get okay grades but really get a 3.6 GPA. I have about a 2.8 GPA.
- Finally (and probably most importantly), this school is perfect for me. I love the people I've met. I love the chance I've gotten to double major in music and theatre. I love the climate (SNOWBOARDING THIS WEEKEND HOPEFULLY!). There is no reason for me to change schools. I may not be paying so much for the classes as I am the opportunities I am given and just as important, the school, my professors, and my peers are so supportive. Its expensive here, and I'm proabably going to be poor for my life, but I don't really care. Its what a man does and not his money that makes his worth.
Here's to the future.
Later.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Reflection/Resolution
For all the crap that has been going on, for all the time that it has taken for the shit to hit the fan, it is eternity when compared to the amount of time it took me to analyze what is wrong with my life.
I am disappointed with some of the people in my life and some of the situations in my life, but most of all, I am disappointed with myself.
I have recently returned to some old habits I had sworn I would never return to and I have broken from some good habits I got myself into.
There are so many reasons for me to be disappointed with myself that I just need to say fuck it. I'm going to fix myself.
During the last week of 2008, I was searching for some things to resolve and by the new year, I came up with nothing except for one idea. I resolved to be a better person. However, the lack of acknowledgment of what I needed to fix in myself made it impossible to change myself.
Tonight, I have learned what I need to do.
Now, when I say that I resolve to be a better person, I mean it.
I am disappointed with some of the people in my life and some of the situations in my life, but most of all, I am disappointed with myself.
I have recently returned to some old habits I had sworn I would never return to and I have broken from some good habits I got myself into.
There are so many reasons for me to be disappointed with myself that I just need to say fuck it. I'm going to fix myself.
During the last week of 2008, I was searching for some things to resolve and by the new year, I came up with nothing except for one idea. I resolved to be a better person. However, the lack of acknowledgment of what I needed to fix in myself made it impossible to change myself.
Tonight, I have learned what I need to do.
Now, when I say that I resolve to be a better person, I mean it.
Monday, January 12, 2009
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