Here is a true story turned haiku:
I have an itchy rash.
It keeps me from sleeping tonight.
I'm turnin' zombie.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
A step in the wrong direction
Whoops...
This one might actually be mirroring the last one.
Ever since school started, I feel like I've been getting further and further from how school should be going. I have only been to a total of four classes on time, no joke... I have had twelve so far. I think my favorite late story was when I was searching for Class Voice last tuesday. I wrote the room number on my hand so I wouldn't forget where it was. I ran to dinner, ate, and ran to the Whalen. When I got there, I had just enough time to get to class, but I couldn't read the class number. Fuck. I ran all over the fourth floor (I at least knew it was there) but I couldn't find the room. I had to go to the library to figure out the room number. Finally, I reached my destination, opened the door, and walked into the room (once again ten minutes late) only to find myself on the stage of Ford Hall in front of my class. There was no sneakiness to be had at this point. I think the only way I could have made myself more obvious, was to tap dance across the stage. So I did. Actually, I really rushed off the stage, only getting myself noticed by the teacher who nicely asked my name.
Recently, as some may be aware, I promised that since I couldn't curb my swearing, I would become more krass. Bad life decision. I got called out in front of my sight singing class after a resounding SHIT! when I forgot that I was supposed to be singing in minor.
Besides that, I am sitting here at 6 in the morning, writing iambic pentameter for a class I have at two. I also, still have to read the rest of Shakespeare's pornagraphic story and figure out my sightsinging homework before 8 am since I have class from 8am to 3pm with only an hour break at 1.
I need to get better at this work thing.
This one might actually be mirroring the last one.
Ever since school started, I feel like I've been getting further and further from how school should be going. I have only been to a total of four classes on time, no joke... I have had twelve so far. I think my favorite late story was when I was searching for Class Voice last tuesday. I wrote the room number on my hand so I wouldn't forget where it was. I ran to dinner, ate, and ran to the Whalen. When I got there, I had just enough time to get to class, but I couldn't read the class number. Fuck. I ran all over the fourth floor (I at least knew it was there) but I couldn't find the room. I had to go to the library to figure out the room number. Finally, I reached my destination, opened the door, and walked into the room (once again ten minutes late) only to find myself on the stage of Ford Hall in front of my class. There was no sneakiness to be had at this point. I think the only way I could have made myself more obvious, was to tap dance across the stage. So I did. Actually, I really rushed off the stage, only getting myself noticed by the teacher who nicely asked my name.
Recently, as some may be aware, I promised that since I couldn't curb my swearing, I would become more krass. Bad life decision. I got called out in front of my sight singing class after a resounding SHIT! when I forgot that I was supposed to be singing in minor.
Besides that, I am sitting here at 6 in the morning, writing iambic pentameter for a class I have at two. I also, still have to read the rest of Shakespeare's pornagraphic story and figure out my sightsinging homework before 8 am since I have class from 8am to 3pm with only an hour break at 1.
I need to get better at this work thing.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A good start
Well, we are well into the first day of school and I have yet to do anything productive. I have only one class on Tuesdays (well 2 on Tuesday) and Thursdays as of now and it was canceled today. Thus I haven't left my room except to get food for lunch. I do have Rep class at 5:10 though so there is that. I streamed the inauguration and then tried to finish Okami, but played for 2 hours and got bored. I really need to finish my directing book for my play and memorize a monologue for my audition on Thursday. Whoops.
Anyway, every now and then, I have a lingering thought. Am I learning anything from Ithaca? Is there any reason for me to be $20 thousand+ in debt plus paying $46 thousand a semester? To be honest, I look at the classes for my major in the theatre department and just sigh. I sometimes believe I could be learning more somewhere else.
However, every so often I am thrown a curve ball that reminds me I am not just paying for the classes, but the experiences and opportunities.
About two months ago, I submitted an abstract on the utilization of a psychology theory in theatre to a convention all the way in Wisconsin. Two days ago, I recieved the response:
Dear Martine Baruch, et al:
Thank you for your abstract submission, Priming the Audience. Your abstract clearly illustrated your hard work in this field of study. The large volume of abstracts we received made the selection process highly competitive. The members of the Abstract Review Committee regret to inform you that your abstract was not accepted for presentation at NCUR 2009.
All abstracts were reviewed by a panel of faculty experts and the panel members indicated the quality of workmanship was outstanding. We applaud your research efforts and wish you future success.
Sincerely,
The NCUR 2009 Abstract Review Committee
www.uwlax.edu/ncur2009
I have never been so happy to recieve a rejection letter! Also, I have learned several things about myself and my life decisions:
I feel this applys to my life. I am in a constant state of indifference and laziness. But the response I have gotten from my abstract has made me realize that I might not be as indifferent and lazy as I thought I was. This abstract has made me reflect on the past; I have applied myself many times in the past and recieved extraordinary results. I now realize that I am not so apathaetic. I just don't sweat the small stuff. I see whats worth fighting for and whats important and then go to it. At times, it seems like I have done nothing at all, but then I realize that I have had many accomplishments. The only thing I wish I would do is avoid procrastination, but I don't see it as a big problem. Besides, you know what they say, "Heroes always come late."
Here's to the future.
Later.
Anyway, every now and then, I have a lingering thought. Am I learning anything from Ithaca? Is there any reason for me to be $20 thousand+ in debt plus paying $46 thousand a semester? To be honest, I look at the classes for my major in the theatre department and just sigh. I sometimes believe I could be learning more somewhere else.
However, every so often I am thrown a curve ball that reminds me I am not just paying for the classes, but the experiences and opportunities.
About two months ago, I submitted an abstract on the utilization of a psychology theory in theatre to a convention all the way in Wisconsin. Two days ago, I recieved the response:
Dear Martine Baruch, et al:
Thank you for your abstract submission, Priming the Audience. Your abstract clearly illustrated your hard work in this field of study. The large volume of abstracts we received made the selection process highly competitive. The members of the Abstract Review Committee regret to inform you that your abstract was not accepted for presentation at NCUR 2009.
All abstracts were reviewed by a panel of faculty experts and the panel members indicated the quality of workmanship was outstanding. We applaud your research efforts and wish you future success.
Sincerely,
The NCUR 2009 Abstract Review Committee
www.uwlax.edu/ncur2009
I have never been so happy to recieve a rejection letter! Also, I have learned several things about myself and my life decisions:
- First, I feel like being a total dork and quoting the Futurama episode when Bender meets God.
I feel this applys to my life. I am in a constant state of indifference and laziness. But the response I have gotten from my abstract has made me realize that I might not be as indifferent and lazy as I thought I was. This abstract has made me reflect on the past; I have applied myself many times in the past and recieved extraordinary results. I now realize that I am not so apathaetic. I just don't sweat the small stuff. I see whats worth fighting for and whats important and then go to it. At times, it seems like I have done nothing at all, but then I realize that I have had many accomplishments. The only thing I wish I would do is avoid procrastination, but I don't see it as a big problem. Besides, you know what they say, "Heroes always come late."
- I am in the right major. I fully enjoyed writing the abstract.
- I know exactly what could've gotten me a spot in the convention but I was too afraid to take that risk when I wrote the abstract. I cannot hesitate again. If I know what I want and know how to get it, I need to go for it and pull out all the stops.
- I don't really care so much about grades. I never have. Maybe its because I never studied hard, or maybe its because no matter how hard I would study, I am not able to get that perfect GPA. I have come to realize that in a Liberal degree, grades matter on one end of the spectrum, but probably equally important (if not more) is how a person applies what he learns. I have proven that even though I get mediocre grades, I can still excel! By the way, I'm not one of those people who says they get okay grades but really get a 3.6 GPA. I have about a 2.8 GPA.
- Finally (and probably most importantly), this school is perfect for me. I love the people I've met. I love the chance I've gotten to double major in music and theatre. I love the climate (SNOWBOARDING THIS WEEKEND HOPEFULLY!). There is no reason for me to change schools. I may not be paying so much for the classes as I am the opportunities I am given and just as important, the school, my professors, and my peers are so supportive. Its expensive here, and I'm proabably going to be poor for my life, but I don't really care. Its what a man does and not his money that makes his worth.
Here's to the future.
Later.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Reflection/Resolution
For all the crap that has been going on, for all the time that it has taken for the shit to hit the fan, it is eternity when compared to the amount of time it took me to analyze what is wrong with my life.
I am disappointed with some of the people in my life and some of the situations in my life, but most of all, I am disappointed with myself.
I have recently returned to some old habits I had sworn I would never return to and I have broken from some good habits I got myself into.
There are so many reasons for me to be disappointed with myself that I just need to say fuck it. I'm going to fix myself.
During the last week of 2008, I was searching for some things to resolve and by the new year, I came up with nothing except for one idea. I resolved to be a better person. However, the lack of acknowledgment of what I needed to fix in myself made it impossible to change myself.
Tonight, I have learned what I need to do.
Now, when I say that I resolve to be a better person, I mean it.
I am disappointed with some of the people in my life and some of the situations in my life, but most of all, I am disappointed with myself.
I have recently returned to some old habits I had sworn I would never return to and I have broken from some good habits I got myself into.
There are so many reasons for me to be disappointed with myself that I just need to say fuck it. I'm going to fix myself.
During the last week of 2008, I was searching for some things to resolve and by the new year, I came up with nothing except for one idea. I resolved to be a better person. However, the lack of acknowledgment of what I needed to fix in myself made it impossible to change myself.
Tonight, I have learned what I need to do.
Now, when I say that I resolve to be a better person, I mean it.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Best day ever!
I woke up at 7 for some reason and couldn't sleep. I went downstairs, had my mom drive me to the train station to pick up the other car, and then went to Panera's to use the gift card I got for Hanukkah. When I came home, I played Okami for an hour then took a nap. When I woke up I played Okami for 2 hours and now it is 2:30 in the afternoon.
I hope tonight can match today's awesomeness.
I'm going to have lunch.
I hope tonight can match today's awesomeness.
I'm going to have lunch.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sin
Maybe it is the psychologist in me - or maybe it is just the actor - but I am always trying to analyze people. I love to see what makes them tick.
While watching Full Metal Alchemist, I looked at each of the homunculus and tried to understand how their sin manifests. Pride, the Fuhrer, had status and looked down upon everyone. Envy was jealous of the love Ed and Al had earned from their father and thus wanted to kill him so no one would have his love. Lust earned the adoration of several men and she would toy with hearts. Wrath hated his mother for turning him into what he was and hated Ed for having the body he needed. Sloth, was not only slow to act and move, but she also was willing to kill her own "sons" to see if she would feel anything at all. Pride wanted eternal life and everything he could get his hands on, and Gluttony... well... ate everything.
By the end of the show, I started to ask the question, "What if everyone was dominated by a single sin? What if there was one sin that manifests itself in every single person and makes them act the way they do?" I began to examine people in this way to see if it is true.
This is not an easy task, as some sins overlap. Before I was able to identify the sin in people, I had to identify the sins:
1) Pride -
2) Lust -
3) Gluttony -
4) Envy - (Similar to Greed)
5) Greed - (Similar to Envy)
7) Sloth -
A few personal beliefs about the Seven Deadly Sins
By the way, this was a post I have wanted to write up for the longest time but as posts in general, I didn't want to post it without feeling it first. Recent events, especially the New Year, have drawn it out of me.
While watching Full Metal Alchemist, I looked at each of the homunculus and tried to understand how their sin manifests. Pride, the Fuhrer, had status and looked down upon everyone. Envy was jealous of the love Ed and Al had earned from their father and thus wanted to kill him so no one would have his love. Lust earned the adoration of several men and she would toy with hearts. Wrath hated his mother for turning him into what he was and hated Ed for having the body he needed. Sloth, was not only slow to act and move, but she also was willing to kill her own "sons" to see if she would feel anything at all. Pride wanted eternal life and everything he could get his hands on, and Gluttony... well... ate everything.
By the end of the show, I started to ask the question, "What if everyone was dominated by a single sin? What if there was one sin that manifests itself in every single person and makes them act the way they do?" I began to examine people in this way to see if it is true.
This is not an easy task, as some sins overlap. Before I was able to identify the sin in people, I had to identify the sins:
1) Pride -
- Overly-high self-esteem
- Generally looks down on everyone
- Sees himself as perfect
2) Lust -
- Toys with people's emotions
- Manipulates people
3) Gluttony -
- Over-indulges in pleasures
4) Envy - (Similar to Greed)
- Wants what other people have
- If he can't have what he wants, he doesn't want anyone to have it
5) Greed - (Similar to Envy)
- Wants what other people have
- Will try anything to get what other people have
- Generally angry
- Lashes at other people
7) Sloth -
- Apathetic
- Last to react
A few personal beliefs about the Seven Deadly Sins
- Everyone has a sin.
- Only one sin is more dominant than the rest. You cannot be both Lustful and Greedy. I do, however believe that sins can be used to fuel your overall sins. For example, if you are Greed, you can use lust to get what you want.
- You do not keep the same sin throughout your life. That is to say it is possible to switch sins as you grow.
- I do not believe they are "Deadly." On the contrary, I think it is what keeps us from unraveling and keeps us human. That said, I do believe that it is important to identify what sin you personify and how it helps and hinders you.
By the way, this was a post I have wanted to write up for the longest time but as posts in general, I didn't want to post it without feeling it first. Recent events, especially the New Year, have drawn it out of me.
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